HI-LINE’S HELP For ABUSED SPOUSES
A Non-Profit Organization Serving Victims of Abuse for Over 30 Years in North Central Montana
October  2017
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A Note From the Editor.....
See you in January!
By Dawn Olivo
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State of Montana Information & Forms
Do you need court forms?  Are you not sure where to start or get help filling them out?  The link below will take you to many different court forms, including Parenting Plans, Child Custody, Divorce, and Orders of Protection.  There are also detailed instructions to help you fill out the paperwork. 
Happy Fall, Ya’all!  It is so hard to believe that 2017 is coming to a close.  It seems like it just started.  Doesn’t it feel like this year went by exceptionally fast?  It went by so fast I forgot to do my July newsletter (WHOOPS!).  But one thing we at HLHAS DID do that we are very proud of, is these great backpacks.  It all started with an incredible donation by the family of Beth Olsen of backpacks and all kinds of school supplies.  In memory of Beth, they wanted to make sure all area kids went to school this year with everything they needed to succeed.  Our staff thought this was such a great idea.  We tossed in a few extra supples and filled up the backpacks.  Packpacks were then donated to individuals, and to Shelby School and Meadowlark School in Conrad.   Once again, Thank You, to the Olsen Family!   Very soon we will be once again setting up our Christmas store.  Tis’ the season! 
“The Forgotten Victims of Domestic Violence” ~by Autumn Miller, Hi-Line’s Help for Abused Spouses October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, but every day of every month of every year is a good day to help someone get away from violence. Domestic violence is an ongoing experience of physical, psychologic, and/or sexual abuse in the home that is used to establish power and control over another person and spans all economic and cultural backgrounds. The children exposed to the violence are often the forgotten, unheard victims and in turn feel lost, isolated and vulnerable. They are starved for attention, affection and approval and they become physically, emotionally and psychologically abandoned. Child witnesses are prone to have inappropriate attitudes about violence as a means of resolving problems and often a greater willingness to use violence themselves. Some emotional responses may include fear, guilt, shame, sleep disturbances, sadness, depression, and anger (at both the abuser for the violence and at the mother for being unable to prevent the violence). They also have higher rates of PTSD, anxiety and depression, along with social and relationship problems stemming from an inability to bond and form secure attachments to others. These children tend to have a pessimistic view of the future resulting in an increased rate of risk-taking behavior such as school truancy, early sexual activity, substance abuse, delinquency, self-injury, and suicide. Children who are exposed to domestic violence often have intensified startle reactions and are constantly on guard, watching and waiting for the next violent act to occur. They never know what will trigger the abuse, and therefore, they never feel safe. Children do not have to be hit in order to suffer the effects of violence.  Parents may think that the children are not privy to the violence if the violence occurs after the children have gone to bed or are playing in another part of the home.  In reality, however, children hear and see much more than their parents realize and it’s probable they are not sleeping through it.  Whether or not children are physically abused, they still can suffer emotional and psychological trauma from living in homes where there is continual abuse and they are denied a life fostering healthy development. Children who grow up observing their mothers being abused by their fathers grow up with a reversed view of intimate relationships in which one person uses intimidation and aggression to manipulate the other person to get their way. Because children have a natural tendency to identify with strength, they may ally themselves with the abuser and lose respect for their seemingly helpless mother. Abusers typically play into this by putting the mother down in front of her children. Seeing their mothers treated with disrespect teaches children that they can hurt and disrespect women the way their fathers do. Violence in the home shatters a child’s basic right to feel safe and secure in the world. Many are suffering silently, with little to no support, and they need to know there are adults who will listen to them, believe them and shelter them. Adults who work with children, including teachers, social workers, relatives, and parents themselves, need awareness and skills to recognize and meet the needs of children exposed to violence in the home and to refer children to appropriate services. Children exposed to violence in the home need to know they are not alone and the violence is not their fault. They need hope for the future and it is our responsibility to show them things can change and violence can end. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, we are here to help. Please do not hesitate to call Hi-Line’s Help for Abused Spouses at 406-278- 3342, on our 24-hour Crisis Line at   1-800-219-7336, or stop by our office located at 300 N. Virginia St, Ste #307, Conrad, MT 59425.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Financial Abuse as a Means of Control and Dominance in Domestically Violent Relationships. Click picture to read the article at operation.hope.com
October is a great month to get into the habit of practicing self-care.  Love yourself!!
Believe it or not, pets are often a huge reason why a victim stays in an abusive relationship.  They know if they leave, they may not be able to take that beloved family member with them, as so many rentals and shelters do not allow pets.  Or sometimes the pets are farm animals, who are just as loved.  It is typical for the abuser to threaten to kill or harm the animal as a way to control the victim.  This leads to them staying in the abusive situation to protect the animals that they love. 
In September, HLHAS staff helped with the annual stuffing of the Combined Fund Drive envelopes. One of the best helpers there was Autumn’s daughter, Lilly who took her duties very seriously.  Great job, Lilly!
Photos courtesy of the Independant Observer
Job Opening Executive Director Click here for job description